manuscript in progress
'God's Gift of Grief' .. chapter 2: Accepting the Gift.
My parents insisted before my sister or I opened any gifts we first had to thank those who had given them to us. I never really understood why we couldn't first open the gift and then give thanks until I began having kids of my own. My parents wanted us to get into the habit of showing gratitude for the gift before we discovered what the gift was so that our thanks was not influenced by what the gift was. For example, if we liked the gift our thanks was usually a big heart felt praise; if however we didn't really appreciate the gift that much a somewhat reluctant and mediocre thanks was said. Even in my adult years I must confess that I still have a tendency to appreciate gifts according to how I classify them. Perhaps the apostle Paul understood this concept well when he wrote to the Thessalonians [1:5:18] 'give thanks in all circumstances.' In other words recognize that true praise is not conditioned upon what circumstances you find yourself in.
The same thanks needs to be give to our Creator for the gift of grieving. Up front we know that grieving to come is not going to be comforting for the most part, its going to be a laborious
and sorrowful process. We know that the Giver has placed before us a gift that will both carry us through and bring us out more fulfilled. Giving thanks [accepting] the gift is necessary before we can even begin to unwrap it, and acknowledging that we are not strong enough to unwrap this gift in our own strength invites the help of our Giver. Have you ever received a gift, only to unwrap it and discovered you're really not sure what the gift is, much less know how to operate it? You have to read the instructions and/or ask what the gift is; the gift of grieving comes with instructions on how we might best utilize it, but the only one with the proper instructions is the Giver. Oh there are principles that are already known, but every one's gift of grief is different, though some things are the same, many are unique and different; and the valley of shadows is personal and must often be travelled alone, and the only enduring strength and guidance we need come from the rod and staff of the Giver.
Giving thanks for the gift of grief as we begin the journey acknowledges that we are also giving God the leadership role. It is important we establish for ourselves that He will lead for this determines not only the degree of guidance we will receive but the depth of help He will give. Its rather strange to acknowledge that how we accept the gift will in many ways determine its effectiveness in our life. So many Christians never open and use this gift to its fullest because of the myth that our 'faith' will see us through ... what is this all about? Why do we deceive ourselves into thinking its okay to place our grieve in his hands and think we've settled the issue? Jesus in his reaction to Lazarus' death, even though he knew it was coming, certainly didn't teach us that.
There will be many times n this journey that the human desire for answers can prove overwhelming, and the frustration of not receiving those answers can lead to severe bouts with depression, and we find our faith not as strong as we anticipated it was. I'm reminded that C.S. Lewis in walking through his grieving process over his wife Joy came to the point where he even had think through, 'Is God really good?' When God is leading us sometimes not having the answers is for our gain, and our faith, leaning on him matures. Proverbs admonishes us [3:5] 'lean not on our own understanding' and then the prophet Isaiah reminds us, 'His ways, his thinking are not our ways or thinking.'[55:8] Grieving is not always about answers and quick,
easy solutions, but about maturing and transformation. Death changes our lives forever, we will never be the same, grief does not teach things will ever be back to normal or the same; the gift of grieving is about coming to grips with the transformation brought about by death.
[As I close for now let me remind you how valued your input is. Later, when rewrites begin to take shape, your thoughts will often challenge, inspire and transform this project ................ keep them coming, thanks]
'God's Gift of Grief' .. chapter 2: Accepting the Gift.
My parents insisted before my sister or I opened any gifts we first had to thank those who had given them to us. I never really understood why we couldn't first open the gift and then give thanks until I began having kids of my own. My parents wanted us to get into the habit of showing gratitude for the gift before we discovered what the gift was so that our thanks was not influenced by what the gift was. For example, if we liked the gift our thanks was usually a big heart felt praise; if however we didn't really appreciate the gift that much a somewhat reluctant and mediocre thanks was said. Even in my adult years I must confess that I still have a tendency to appreciate gifts according to how I classify them. Perhaps the apostle Paul understood this concept well when he wrote to the Thessalonians [1:5:18] 'give thanks in all circumstances.' In other words recognize that true praise is not conditioned upon what circumstances you find yourself in.
The same thanks needs to be give to our Creator for the gift of grieving. Up front we know that grieving to come is not going to be comforting for the most part, its going to be a laborious
and sorrowful process. We know that the Giver has placed before us a gift that will both carry us through and bring us out more fulfilled. Giving thanks [accepting] the gift is necessary before we can even begin to unwrap it, and acknowledging that we are not strong enough to unwrap this gift in our own strength invites the help of our Giver. Have you ever received a gift, only to unwrap it and discovered you're really not sure what the gift is, much less know how to operate it? You have to read the instructions and/or ask what the gift is; the gift of grieving comes with instructions on how we might best utilize it, but the only one with the proper instructions is the Giver. Oh there are principles that are already known, but every one's gift of grief is different, though some things are the same, many are unique and different; and the valley of shadows is personal and must often be travelled alone, and the only enduring strength and guidance we need come from the rod and staff of the Giver.
Giving thanks for the gift of grief as we begin the journey acknowledges that we are also giving God the leadership role. It is important we establish for ourselves that He will lead for this determines not only the degree of guidance we will receive but the depth of help He will give. Its rather strange to acknowledge that how we accept the gift will in many ways determine its effectiveness in our life. So many Christians never open and use this gift to its fullest because of the myth that our 'faith' will see us through ... what is this all about? Why do we deceive ourselves into thinking its okay to place our grieve in his hands and think we've settled the issue? Jesus in his reaction to Lazarus' death, even though he knew it was coming, certainly didn't teach us that.
There will be many times n this journey that the human desire for answers can prove overwhelming, and the frustration of not receiving those answers can lead to severe bouts with depression, and we find our faith not as strong as we anticipated it was. I'm reminded that C.S. Lewis in walking through his grieving process over his wife Joy came to the point where he even had think through, 'Is God really good?' When God is leading us sometimes not having the answers is for our gain, and our faith, leaning on him matures. Proverbs admonishes us [3:5] 'lean not on our own understanding' and then the prophet Isaiah reminds us, 'His ways, his thinking are not our ways or thinking.'[55:8] Grieving is not always about answers and quick,
easy solutions, but about maturing and transformation. Death changes our lives forever, we will never be the same, grief does not teach things will ever be back to normal or the same; the gift of grieving is about coming to grips with the transformation brought about by death.
[As I close for now let me remind you how valued your input is. Later, when rewrites begin to take shape, your thoughts will often challenge, inspire and transform this project ................ keep them coming, thanks]
Your parents were/are smart cookies. I wish I'd thought of that, though my kids are usually pretty good on the gratitude front.
ReplyDeleteAs for seeking but not (immediately) finding answers, I struggle daily with remembering that God's timetable is-- gasp! --often different from mine. There's a reason the old adage, "Patience is a virtue" rings truer the longer I'm hanging around this planet.
Cheers.