Last week I had to tell my mother that she would be taking up a new residence the last of this week in a nursing home. Of course this is not good news for anyone, especially for a woman that for the last 25yrs. has come and gone when she pleased, and gone where ever she wished .... but the time is at hand. According to all my relatives [her 98yr old mother, brother, sister and my wife, and my neice]I'm about a year late in making the decision. This past weekend her younger sister stayed with her which helped to convince her, though it didn't lessen her fears, it was time to find residence in the nursing home.
I know that this in no way pleases mom, but its come to that phase in life when I must, for her safety and well-being, make the hard choices. It reminds me of when I would have to make a decision for my kids well being when it was the opposite of what they wished, and in many ways what I would have wished for them. I was still holding on to the hope that there were other options available until I had a nerve-racking experience when I stayed with her last week - it totally convinced me there was no choice any longer.
With great anxiety I fear the coming moving days; for a couple of days I had such an upset stomach I couldn't keep anything down, but that seems to have settled. This morning mom just cried on the phone; and tonight she acted distant - quite distant, and this I never really expected, but I guess its part of that hated transition. Its almost as though she fears the whole world is against her, and I can't get her to see that there's new possibilities in this aging phase of her life.
But I'll keep trying.
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