Let me in!!

A couple weeks ago I went home for my regular weekly visit. Arriving home after a two hour road trip, the front light was on so I figured mom was waiting for me. Upon approaching the front door I found the opposite ... mom was not up, and had forgotten that I was coming.

For 50 minutes I banged on the front door, her bedroom window, and kept calling her phone. I heard the phone ringing at her bedside, and finally began to panic....was she just deep in sleep; had she suffered a stroke, or worst of all "was she even alive?" Finally, about to back out of the driveway and go to the police station she answered the phone. Mom is always confused when woke up from a deep sleep. She approached the front door and asked who was there, I replied, "Timm." Timm who? she asked. Finally I convinced her I was her son, and then she said, "I can't unlock the door, I don't know where my keys are." Once inside she told me, "I know you're not going to believe this, but a lady was in here talking to me about ten minutes ago!" You're right I said, I can't believe you because I've been outside trying to get in, so unless this lady was a ghost she wasn't here. But I was too shook, and tired to talk this one out .... so I just said, "Mom, lets go to sleep, and we'll talk about it in the morning." This is just further evidence that that inevitable day when mom
must go to a care facitilty is fast approaching.

This is one of those life experiences that you can plan for; mom long ago purchased nursing home insurance, and even told me when the time is upon us to let her know. But planning is good, but actually beginning the process is hell. I know mom knows her mind is playing tricks on her, and memory hardly exist; but she's also distraught to think the time is near. It's also a life experience no child wants to
go through, and until you do, you never know all the 'invariable' this journey involves. I know that it's not going to get any easier, I just pray it gets less complicated and somewhat smoother.